Sad

I just found out that one of my friend lost her baby. Its extremely sad. His name was Gabriel and he passed away after 10 days of brave struggle at ICU due to a heart malfunction. As I heard the news, I started tearing. I can't imagine the pain my friend is currently feeling. 

My heart goes out to her and her family. 

This really makes me think that life is fragile and unpredictable. 

I am so grateful for what I have. 

Random

While Cayden was in class today, I popped down to Orchard Road to run some errands. I needed pick up a bag which I reserved at Ngee Ann City and to go to M1 to see if they have the screen protector for my new phone - the Samsung U700. No I am not kiasu and want to 'baby' my phone, but I hate finger prints on the screen. Unfortunately, I leave finger prints every single time I use it because the phone is a slide phone and my fingers inevitably leave prints when I slide the phone to answer it or to send a sms.

Anyway, while waiting for M1 to open, I had a coffee at Starbucks. I met one of my really old ex-colleague. I met her when I was in my first job - I was innocent and naive. We were in the same team and even though she was more senior than me, we got along well. However after close to a year, she moved overseas with her then-boyfriend and I changed companies too. It has been 12 years since I last saw her. I didn't know if I should go up to her and talk to her. I thought for a long time, and in the end, still decided against it. She sat facing me, so I was quite certain that she saw me, but she also did not walk up to me and say hi. Wonder why?

I don't know why I didn't go up and say hi. Maybe it was because i was afraid that she couldn't remember me? Am I anti-social? I have no answer.

Get Together...

We had a get together amongst ex-colleagues last night. One of our ex-colleagues, Jesley, will be packing up her bags and leaving for Shanghai to work in mid December. This get together is her farewell.

During dinner, I had felt disconnected with my friends. Somehow there is an invisible barrier and exists between us. No matter how I hard I try, I couldn't. After a while, I gave up. I guess this is inevitable, because I am no longer working so we have different lives. On top of that, I live in a another country, so we have lesser things to talk about. I guess now our status is now downgraded from "friends" to "acquaintances"?

But I was still glad to have went for dinner because I could catch up with Jesley. She and me can talk for hours and hours. I am sure to be visiting her in Shanghai soon.

I wonder if its true that as you grow older, you have lesser friends? Or it is just happening to me?

Friends?

Feeling quite disappointed with some friends this trip home. Ok, I have to admit that it is not easy for me to make friends. I think its because I can be quite anti social in nature. But I do treasure all the few friends I have.

However, this trip back, I feel like I have been let down by one specific girlfriend, whom I thought I was close to. Despite many of my invites and suggestions to meet up since I returned 9 weeks ago, we have not met up. Yes, I do understand that she has recently started a new job and have been travelling, but I feel that she is not making the effort. What really pissed me off is on one night, she called me. I was happy to see her name flashing on my mobile phone. But after a while of talking to her, I realised that she is only calling me because she just had an argument with her hubby and needed to rant at someone. After she has finished her rantings, it was obvious that she wasn't paying any attention to what I am saying anymore coz all she said was "huh,huh" at appropriate pauses and she sounded distracted.

She told me its too bad that we can't meet up as she was going on a 2 week holiday in 2 days time and she would be very busy at work until she left for her hols. I mentioned that I may extend my stay in Singapore til Xmas. I don't even think she heard me because she had no reaction. Or maybe she did hear me but pretended not to. I don't know. All I know is I am done reaching out to her. Its her turn. If she does not contact me, I won't.