Struggle

Here I am, close to 2 weeks after returning to Mongolia, I am still struggling with 2 kids. I have no idea how the other mothers can do it and still keep their sanity. The craziest hours for me is 1pm and 5.30pm. That's when I am trying to feed Cayden his lunch / dinner, while trying to carrying Cameron (coz he is whining) or keep Cameron asleep for his nap. Its been such a trying time. Not the best time of my life.

If only, if only I can find more help. If only I can find a reliable helper to help with the cleaning and handling of 1 kid while I handle the other.

Or maybe, if only Cameron follows his routine faithfully, then maybe I can make this work.

This time around, with Cameron, I have to admit that I have not been very consistent, which is not the best thing to do when I want to fix Cameron on a routine. I have to "make-do" coz now I have another child to take care of and to think of. My temper is also very short. I get frustrated easier and by smaller things.

I really want to do better. I really want to handle things better. But so far, I can't.

I am really hoping things for change for the better real soon.